wolfgoddess77

CHAPTER TWELVE

"Zoey! Over here!”

I almost cried in relief when I heard Damien's voice and saw his hand waving at an empty desk next to him.

Just his hand; not the rest of his body or anything.

"Hi." I sat down and smiled gratefully at him.

"Are you ready for your first day?”

No.

I nodded. "Yep." I wanted to say more, but just then a bell gave five quick rings and as the echo of it died Neferet swept into the room. She was wearing a long black skirt slit up the side to show great stiletto boots, and a deep purple silk sweater. Over her left breast, embroidered in silver, was the image of a goddess with her arms upraised, hands cupping a crescent moon. Her black hair was pulled back into a thick braid. The series of delicate wavelike tattoos that framed her face made her look like an ancient warrior priestess. She smiled at us and I could see that the entire class was as caught as I was by her powerful presence.

PCK, you’re only fueling my belief that Zoey is deeply in love with Neferet. There’s absolutely no reason for her to pay this much attention to every little detail about someone unless she has the hots for them. I also think you’re projecting your lust for her onto the rest of the class. Not everyone is going to be as in awe of her as you are.

"Good evening! I've been looking forward to beginning this unit. Delving into the rich sociology of the Amazons is one of my favorites.” Then she gestured to me. "It is excellent timing that Zoey Redbird has joined us today.

Why is it excellent timing?

I am Zoey's mentor, so I'll expect my students to welcome her.

Speshul Snowflake: 72

Damien, would you please get Zoey a textbook? Her cabinet is next to yours.

Again, if this was any other series, I would overlook it, but because it’s Zoey, I just feel like she’s getting preferential treatment. She shouldn’t have to go fetch her own textbook; one of her minions should do it for her!

While you explain our locker system to her I want the rest of you to journal about what preconceived impressions you have of the ancient vampyre warriors who are known as the Amazons.”

…PCK, I hate you. I mean, I seriously hate your guts. Why does every single familiar celebrity or well-known group have to be vampires? I guess we lowly humans don’t deserve to have anyone. Shakespeare, movie stars, singers, deities, myths, legends, all of them are vampires.

The typical paper rustling and student whispering commenced while Damien led me to the back of the classroom where there was a wall of cabinets. He opened one that had the number "12" in silver on it. The cabinet contained neat, wide shelves filled with textbooks and supplies.

"At the House of Night there aren't lockers, like at regular schools. Here, first hour is our homeroom and we each have a cabinet of our own. The room will always be open, so you come back here to get books and whatever, just like you would go to a locker in the hall. Here's the sociology book.”

Why are there no lockers? These cabinets clearly serve the same purpose, so there’s no reason to have them instead of real lockers. What’s more, these things don’t seem to have locks on them. Anything you put in there is up for grabs for anyone with sticky fingers. At least with lockers, the things you keep in them are relatively secure, since you can’t get into them without a combination or a key.

What’s more, this is not a homeroom, it’s a real class. It’s Vampire Sociology 101. It says so right on the schedules.

He handed me a thick leather book with the silhouette of a goddess stamped on the front of it along with the title, Vampyre Sociology 101. I grabbed a notebook and a couple of pens.

Do these kids have to do anything for themselves? Seriously! The food in the kitchens of their dorms is provided for them, the meals in the dining hall are apparently free, they don’t have to buy their own school supplies, their ‘uniforms’ are just given to them, I’m pretty sure someone comes and cleans their dorms…

I’m pretty sure boarding schools do not work like this! There’s no tuition, no meals to pay for, you don’t have to buy books or supplies or anything!

I want to say that these kids are in for a rude awakening when they graduate and find out that not everything in life is just going to be handed to them on a silver platter, but I have this nasty feeling that isn’t true. From what we’ve learned about them so far, it seems like vampires are guaranteed success no matter what they choose to do, and never have to work for anything, or go through any hardships.

When I shut the cabinet door I hesitated.

"Isn't there a lock or something?”

"No," Damien lowered his voice. "They don't need locks here. If someone steals something, the vamps know it. I don't even want to think about what would happen to someone stupid enough to do that.”

I…I just… Okay. I don’t buy that for an instant. First of all, how would they even know that something has been stolen, or who did it? This makes it seem like they’re all-knowing, which is impossible. They’re vampires, not gods.

Secondly, they have some very skewed punishments, don’t they? The consequences for stealing or fighting are so terrible that they can’t even be spoken of, but if you’re blatantly homophobic, all you get is “you’re out of line!” PCK, have you ever heard of hate crimes? People are beaten up, tortured, and even killed every single day for their sexual orientation. The best you can do to protect your students is a “naughty, naughty, don’t do that”?!

I’m not saying that theft shouldn’t be punished, but you might want to think about reorganizing your priorities, here.

We sat back down and I started to write about the only thing I knew about the Amazons—that they were warrior women who didn't have much use for men—but my mind wasn't on my work. Instead, I was wondering why Damien, Stevie Rae, and even Erin and Shaunee all freak out about getting in trouble. I mean, I'm a good kid—okay, not perfect, but still. I've only had detention once so far, and that wasn't my fault.

Of course it wasn’t, because nothing is ever your fault, is it, Zoey?

Really. Some turd boy told me to suck his cock. What was I supposed to do? Cry? Giggle? Pout? Umm . no…So instead I bitch-slapped him (although I prefer just using the word smacked), and I got detention for it.

Or you could have just been mature about it and ignored him. You assaulted someone, Zoey; you’re lucky you only got detention; I would have suspended you! No one made you hit him, so yeah, this was your fault.

Anyway, detention wasn't actually that bad. I got all my homework done and started the new Gossip Girls book.

Name Drop: 49

Clearly detention at the House of Night entailed more than going to a teacher's classroom for forty-five minutes of "quiet time" after school. I'd have to remember to ask Stevie Rae…

"First, what pieces of the Amazon tradition do we still practice at the House of Night?" Neferet asked, drawing my attention back to class.

Damien raised his hand. "The bow of respect, with our fist over our heart, comes from the Amazons, and so does the way we shake hands—by gripping forearms.”

"Correct, Damien.”

Huh. That explained the funny handshake.

"So, what preconceived notions do you have about the Amazon warriors?" she asked the class.

A blonde who sat on the other side of the room said, "The Amazons were heavily matriarchal, as are all vampyre societies." Jeesh, she sounded smart.

Wow, Zoey, you are incredibly stupid. Everyone knows the Amazons are female, so by default, they would be a matriarchal society. It doesn’t take a genius to put one and one together and end up with two. Or did you honestly think an all-female society would be ruled by men?

"That's true, Elizabeth, but when people discuss the Amazons, legend tends to add an additional layer to history. What do I mean by that?”

"Well, people—especially humans—think that the Amazons were manhaters," said Damien.

I don’t know why, but this made me think of the Little Rascals movie and the He-Man Woman-Haters Club.

I’m also getting a distinct “humans suck” vibe from that sentence. “Stupid humans, getting the truth wrong.”

"Exactly. What we know is that just because a society is matriarchal, as ours is, it does not automatically mean that it is anti- male. Even Nyx has a consort, the god Erebus, to whom she is devoted. The Amazons were unique, though, in that they were a society of vampyre women who chose to be their own warriors and protectors.

You know, sometimes rewriting myths and legends to put a unique spin on them can be pretty awesome, if it’s done correctly. This is not one of those times. This just feels like PCK taking a dump all over humanity. “You seriously think human women could do something as badass as becoming powerful warriors who don’t need anyone to protect them? Puh-leeze. Only vampires are capable of something like that. Humans are just too pathetic.”

Has Stephenie Meyer’s views on humanity made me bitter? Maybe. Does that mean PCK isn’t doing the same thing she did, and I’m reading too much into it? Absolutely not. I fully believe this is another case of Vampires Are Better Than You.

As most of you already know, our society today is still matriarchal, but we respect and appreciate the Sons of Night, and consider them our protectors and consorts.

So are vampire women capable of protecting themselves or not? Because you just contradicted yourself, PCK.

Now, open your text to Chapter Three and let's look at the greatest of the Amazon warriors, Penthesilea, but be careful to keep legend and history separate in your mind.”

You’re only partially correct, PCK. Penthesilea was one of the most famous Amazon warriors, but nowhere does it say she was the greatest. Try again.

And from there Neferet launched into one of the coolest lectures I'd ever heard. I had no idea an hour had passed; the ringing bell was a total surprise. I'd just shoved my sociology book back into my cubbie (okay, I know that Damien and Neferet called them cabinets, but come on—they totally remind me of the cubbies we used to have in kindergarten) when Neferet called my name. I grabbed a notebook and a pen and hurried over to her desk.

Are you…expecting to have to take notes or something, Zoey? What the fuck are you doing?

"How are you?" she asked, smiling warmly.

"I'm okay. I'm good.” I said quickly.

She lifted an eyebrow at me.

"Well, I suppose I'm nervous and confused.”

Confused about what? Everything so far has seemed extremely straightforward to me. I think you’re just too stupid to comprehend what are actually very simple concepts. Your tiny mind was absolutely blown by the idea that vampires have classes at night, after all.

"Of course you are. It's a lot to take in, and changing schools is always difficult—let alone changing schools and lives." She glanced over my shoulder.

"Damien, would you walk Zoey to Drama class?”

Speshul Snowflake: 73

Why does Zoey have to be escorted everywhere? She’s a big girl; I’m sure she can find her way around all by herself. Do all new students get personal escorts? My guess is no.

"Sure," Damien said.

"Zoey, I'll see you tonight at Ritual. Oh, and has Aphrodite issued a formal invitation for you to join the Dark Daughters in their private ceremony afterward?”

I don’t get why Neferet is asking this. She already knows the answer, because Aphrodite went to her and asked for permission! I’m starting to think she and Zoey share a single brain cell, and one that’s not working at full capacity, at that.

"Yes.”

"I wanted to double-check with you and make sure that you feel fine about attending. I would, of course, understand your reticence, but I encourage you to go; I want you to take advantage of every opportunity here, and the Dark Daughters is an exclusive organization. It is a compliment that they already seem interested in you as a possible pledge.”

Speshul Snowflake: 74

Do I really need to say anything about this? It speaks for itself, really.

…actually, yes, I do have something I want to say about it. Given what I know about Neferet and Aphrodite, and how much she seems to hate the poor girl, I’m wondering if this isn’t a subtle ploy by Neferet to start Zoey on the path to overthrowing Aphrodite as the leader of the Dark Daughters.

"I'm fine with going." I forced my voice and my smile to be nonchalant. Obviously she expected me to go, and the last thing I wanted was for Neferet to be disappointed in me. Plus, no way in hell was I going to do anything that might make Aphrodite think I was scared of her.

I’m pretty sure you already did, when you picked the cowering little mouse known as Stevie Rae to show you to the rec hall instead of agreeing to let Aphrodite take you.

"Well done.” Neferet said with enthusiasm. She squeezed my arm and I automatically smiled at her. "If you need me my office is in the same wing as the infirmary." She glanced at my forehead. "I see the stitches have almost completely dissolved.

In twelve hours? Most stitches take at least a week, but some can even take months! What the hell were those things made out of, gelatin?

That's excellent. Does your head still hurt?”

My hand automatically found its way up to my temple. I could only feel the prickle of a stitch or two today when there had been at least ten yesterday. Very, very weird.

Hell yes, it’s weird! Stitches do not dissolve that fast! And if they did, why did Zoey even need stitches to begin with? A couple of butterfly bandages would have worked just fine!

And, even weirder, I hadn't thought about the cut once this morning.

I also realized I hadn't thought about my mom or Heath or even Grandma Redbird.…

Because you are a self-absorbed bitch! Why are we meant to like you? I’m being serious, here. Give me one reason why we should like you.

"No," I said, suddenly realizing Neferet and Damien were waiting for me to answer.

Why is Damien waiting for an answer? Is he standing there wringing his hands, worried about your little boo-boo?

Speshul Snowflake: 75

"No, my head doesn't hurt at all.”

"Good! Well, you two better go before you're late. I know you'll love Drama. I think Professor Nolan has just begun working on monologues.”

I was halfway down the hall, hurrying to keep up with Damien when it hit me.

"How did she know I was going to take Drama? I just decided it this morning.”

"Adult vamps know way too much sometimes," Damien whispered. "Scratch that. Adult vamps know way too much all the time, especially when that vamp is a High Priestess.”

Again, HOW?! I want a goddamn explanation for this! Are they supposed to be omniscient or something?

In light of what I hadn't been telling Neferet I didn't want to think about that too long.

You don’t want to think about anything for too long. I hope this comes back to bite you in the ass in a serious way.

"Hey, y'all!" Stevie Rae rushed up. "How was Vamp Soc?

What’s Vamp Sock?

~~Yes, I know it’s Vampire Sociology, but that just looks so damn hilarious. Let me have this little giggle.~~

Did y'all start the Amazons?”

Here we go again with the ‘y’all’s. PCK, southerners do not talk like this. Trust me, I am one.

"It was cool." I was glad to change the subject from the too mysterious vampyres.

Zoey, I know it can be uncomfortable to think about troubling topics, but by and large, they need to be addressed. You cannot keep shoving them to the side and pretending they don’t exist.

"I had no idea they really cut off their right breasts to keep them out of the way.”

Because they didn’t. That myth started in 490 BC when a Greek historian attempted to define the word ‘Amazon’. ‘Mazon’ sounded similar to the Greek term for ‘breast’, and ‘a’ meant ‘without’, so he decided that ‘Amazon’ must have meant ‘without a breast’, and claimed that they cut one of them off so they could draw a bow.

Funny how Neferet warned them to remember the difference between myth and history, and then immediately turned around and claimed that one of the biggest myths of the Amazons was, in fact, true.

"They wouldn't have had to if they'd been as flat as me," said Stevie Rae, looking down at her own chest.

They didn’t have to! You can use a bow just fine with two breasts!

"Or me," sighed Damien dramatically.

I’m not giving it a point, because it’s not really clear, but is this supposed to be a gay thing? PCK already made it more than obvious that they think being gay also means that you have to be feminine, so does Damien wish he had breasts?

I was still giggling when they pointed me to the Drama room.

Professor Nolan didn't ooze power like Neferet. Instead she oozed energy. She had an athletic, but somehow pear-shaped body. Her brunet hair was long and straight.

But Zoey clearly isn’t, based on how she keeps ogling all the women around her.

…no, I’m not apologizing for that, and you can’t make me.

And Stevie Rae had been right—she had a serious Texas twang.

So? Condescending bitch…

"Zoey, welcome! Have a seat anywhere.”

I said hi and sat beside the Elizabeth girl I recognized from Vamp Soc. She looked friendly enough and I already knew she was smart. (It never hurts to sit next to a smart kid.)

She’s smart because she figured out an all-female society was matriarchal. Yeah, big genius brain right there. Move over, Einstein, her IQ must be off the charts.

"We're just about to begin choosing the monologues that each of you will present to the class sometime next week. But first, I thought you'd like to have a demonstration of how a monologue should be performed, so I asked one of our talented upperclassmen to stop by and recite the famous monologue from Othello, written by the ancient vampyre playwright, Shakespeare.”

STOP. FUCKING. DOING. THAT. Not every successful person in the world is going to be a vampire! Humans are just as capable of achieving things!

I am seriously about to start flipping tables and throwing things…

Professor Nolan paused and glanced out of the window in the door. "Here he is now.”

The door opened and oh my dear sweet lord I do believe my heart totally stopped beating. I'm positive my mouth flopped open like a moron. He was the most gorgeous young lad I had ever seen. He was tall and had dark hair that did that adorably perfect Superman curl thing.

Name Drop: 50

Let me guess. Superman is a vampire too, right?

And ‘the most gorgeous young lad’? What even the hell is that?

His eyes were an amazing sapphire blue and… Oh. Hell! Hell! Hell! It was the guy from the hall.

"Come on in, Erik. As usual, your entrance timing is perfect. We are ready for your monologue." She turned back to the class. "Most of you already know fifth former, Erik Night, and are aware that he won last year's worldwide House of Night monologue competition, the finals of which were held in London. He is also already creating a buzz in Hollywood as well as on Broadway for his performance last semester as Tony in our production of West Side Story. The class is all yours, Erik." Prof Nolan beamed.

This is really starting to push my suspension of disbelief, if I could even believe any of it to begin with. Let me see if I can articulate what my issues are with this…

Okay. I highly doubt both Hollywood and Broadway have a hard-on for a teenager. I know some of the best actors and actresses are in very high demand, and rather than auditioning for a role, I’m willing to bet that more than a few of them have been tracked down and asked to play a certain character. I also know that some roles have been created with a certain person in mind, and no one else will do but them. But I really don’t think someone in a high school play would be this sought-after.

What makes this even less impressive is that there don’t seem to be a great abundance of vampires, and there probably aren’t that many who are into drama, much less talented enough to take part in a competition, so the pool of potential winners of said competition would be extremely small. Rather than having to compete against hundreds of people, he probably only had to go up against a few dozen, if not fewer. Winning against a very small group is not as big an accomplishment as PCK seems to think it is.

The final issue is that PCK has made it quite clear that most of the extremely successful people in the world are vampires, which makes me think that they really don’t have to work all that hard to obtain that success. They don’t seem to struggle at all. Success is not impressive when it’s all but handed to you on a silver platter. You have to work your ass off for it if it’s going to mean anything. Anyone can have something just given to them, with little to no chance of failure. But to have to fight tooth and nail, and to succeed despite all odds…that’s what makes something worth it.

Tl;dr: you and your vampires fail, PCK.

As if my body were suddenly on automatic, I clapped with the rest of the class. Smiling and confident, Erik stepped up on the little stage that was situated front and center in the large, airy classroom.

"Hi. How are you guys doing?”

He spoke directly to me. I mean, directly to me. I could feel my face getting really hot.

No, he didn’t. You have a really high opinion of yourself, don’t you?

"Monologues seem intimidating, but the key is to get your lines down, and then to imagine that you're actually acting with a full cast of actors. Trick yourself into thinking you're not up here all alone, like this…”

And he began the monologue from Othello. I don't know much about the play, except that it's one of Shakespeare's tragedies,

Why have you switched to present tense?

but Erik's performance was amazing. He was a tall guy, probably at least six feet, but as he began to speak he seemed to get bigger and older and more powerful. His voice deepened and he took on an accent I couldn't place. His incredible eyes darkened and narrowed into slits, and when he said Desdemona's name it was like he was praying. It was obvious he loved her, even before he spoke the concluding lines:

She loved me for the dangers I had passed, And I loved her that she did pity them.

As he said the last two lines his eyes locked with mine and, just like in the hall the day before, it seemed as if there was no one else in the room—no one else in the world.

Oh, gag…

I felt a shiver deep inside of something very much like what I'd felt the two times I'd smelled blood since I'd been Marked, only no blood had been spilled in the room.

It’s called being horny, sweetcheeks.

There was only Erik. And then he smiled, touched his lips to his fingers as though he was sending me a kiss,

Zoey, can you stop thinking about yourself for just a couple of seconds? It’s always ‘me, me, me’ with you, isn’t it? Well, me thinks you needs to learn some humility.

and bowed. The whole class clapped like crazy, including me. Really. I couldn't help it.

That’s twice now you’ve said you couldn’t help yourself. Is he mind-controlling you or something?

"Now, that's how it's done," Professor Nolan said. "So, there are copies of monologues in the red bookshelves at the rear of the class. Each of you take several books and begin looking through them. What you're trying to find is a scene that means something to you—that touches some part of your soul. I'll be circulating and can answer any questions you have about individual monologues. Once you've chosen your pieces, I'll go through the steps you'll need to take as you prepare your own presentation.”

Step one: memorize your lines.

Step two: recite said lines.

It ain’t rocket science, sweetie.

With an energetic smile and nod, she motioned for us to start looking through the zillions of monologue books.

Oh, please. Will you stop with the exaggerations?

I still felt flushed and short of breath,

Please tell me you’re not going to pull a Bella Swan and forget how to breathe.

but I got up with the rest of the class, even though I couldn't help peeking at Erik over my shoulder. He was (unfortunately) leaving the room, but not before he turned and caught me gawking at him. I blushed (again). He met my eyes and smiled directly at me (again). And then he was gone.

Would you stop it with the (unnecessary parentheses)?

"He's so f-ing hot," someone whispered in my ear.

‘F-ing’? Are you serious? Either say ‘fucking’ or leave it out. Don’t do…that.

I feel like PCK wanted to have cursing in the books, but tended to chicken out at the last minute and either did that, had the characters apologize profusely when they swore, or had another character scold them when they did it. It’s ridiculous.

I turned and, shockingly, Ms. Perfect Student Elizabeth was staring after Erik and fanning herself.

Two things. One, why is it so shocking? If he’s as attractive as you’re insinuating he is, chances are, more people than just you are going to be panting after him. Two, “Ms. Perfect Student”? Where the hell did that come from? She answered one very obvious question in the previous class—a question that even a kindergartener could figure out, might I add—and now suddenly you’re calling her perfect? I’m sensing a bit of a condescending tone there, too. Usually when someone is called Mr. or Miss Perfect, it’s done in a mocking way. It’s never complimentary.

You know what? I’m giving it one of these out of spite.

You Judgemental Bastards: 52

"Doesn't he have a girlfriend?" I blurted like an idiot.

Oh, what, is no one else allowed to find him attractive? Just because someone is in a relationship doesn’t mean you can’t admire them.

"Only in my dreams," Elizabeth said.

…what? Seriously, what? That makes it sound like Elizabeth is lamenting that he doesn’t have a girlfriend. It would have made more sense if Zoey had asked if Elizabeth was his girlfriend.

"Actually, word has it that he and Aphrodite used to be hooked up, but I've been here for a few months and it's been over between them at least that long. Here ya go," she tossed a couple of monologue books at me. "I'm Elizabeth, no last name.”

My face was a question mark.

I bet that looks really weird.

She sighed. "My last name was Titsworth. Can you imagine? When I got here a few weeks ago

You literally just said you had been there a few months. Now you’re saying a few weeks. Which is it? Continuity is not this difficult.

and my mentor explained that I could change my name to whatever I wanted it to be,

Just don’t name yourself after a mythological person. That will automatically make you evil.

I knew I was going to get rid of the Titsworth part, but then the whole issue of picking a new last name just stressed me too much. So I decided I'd keep my first name and not hassle with a last name." Elizabeth No Last Name shrugged.

"Well, hi," I said. There were really some odd kids here.

FUCK YOU.

You Judgemental Bastards: 53

"Hey," she said as we went back to our desks. "Erik was looking at you.”

"He was looking at everyone," I said, even though I could feel my stupid face getting all hot and red again.

Not according you to, he wasn’t. You made it more than clear that you thought all of his attention was focused on you.

"Yeah, but he was really looking at you." She grinned and added, "Oh, I think your colored-in Mark is cool.”

Speshul Snowflake: 76

Couldn’t resist getting in that little bit of flattery, could you, PCK? No one has fawned over Zoey in a few pages, better correct that!

"Thanks." It probably looked weird as hell on my beet-red face.

"Any questions about choosing a monologue, Zoey?" Professor Nolan asked, making me jump.

I don’t see why anyone would have a question about that. How hard could it possibly be to pick one, and what could possibly be confusing about it?

"No, Professor Nolan. I've done them before in drama at SIHS.”

"Very good.

Because that compliment was really necessary…?

Let me know if I can clarify setting or character for you." She patted me on the arm and kept moving around the room. I opened up the first book and started to flip through the pages, trying (unsuccessfully) to forget about Erik and concentrate on monologues.

You are a horrible student, do you realize that? In both of your classes, you’ve made it more than obvious that you’re too caught up in your own teenaged woes to even attempt to pay attention.

He had been looking at me. But why? He must have known that it had been me in the hall. So what kind of interest in me was he showing? And did I want a guy to like me who had been getting a blow job from the hateful Aphrodite?

HE. WAS. BEING. ASSAULTED! Did you forget that?! He tried to tell her to stop! SHE DIDN’T LISTEN! This is getting dangerously close to victim-blaming, and if Zoey dares to go there, I will murder a bitch.

You Judgemental Bastards: 54

I probably shouldn't. I mean, I definitely wasn't going to take up where she left off.

Zoey, did it ever occur to you that he might have been looking at you during that time because he was asking you for help? But no, your ego is so huge that obviously, he wants you in Aphrodite’s place.

My hatred of you knows no bounds…

Or maybe he was just curious about my freakishly colored-in Mark, like practically everybody else was.

Speshul Snowflake: 77

But it hadn't seemed like it…it had seemed like he'd been looking at me. And I'd liked it.

Because you’re an attention whore, no matter how much you try to deny it. We all know the truth; stop pretending.

I glanced down at the book I'd been ignoring.

Best. Student. Ever.

The page was open to the subchapter: Dramatic Monologues for Women. The first monologue on the page was from Always Ridiculous by Jose Echegaray.

Well, hell. It was probably a sign.

Because everything in the world revolves around you, and even random pages in books must somehow be relevant to you and your situation at any given moment.

Speshul Snowflake: 77
Name Drop: 50
You Judgemental Bastards: 57