wolfgoddess77

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

About halfway to Nyx's Temple I realized that Stevie Rae was being unusually quiet. I glanced sideways at her. Was she also looking pale? I got a creepy walk-over-your-grave feeling.

"Stevie Rae, is something wrong?”

Many things about this series is wrong, as a matter of fact.

"Yeah, well, it's sad and kinda scary.”

"What is? The Full Moon Ritual?" My stomach started to hurt.

My god, you’re such a pansy.

"No, you'll like that—or at least you'll like this one." I knew she meant, versus the Dark Daughters' ritual I had to go to afterward, but I didn't want to talk about that.

…what? You knew she meant what? Are we missing some words in this sentence?

And don’t think I missed that “I don’t want to talk/think about it. Ignoring your problems is not going to make them go away!

Stevie Rae's next words made the whole issue of the Dark Daughters seem like a small, secondary problem. "A girl died last hour.”

"What? How?”

Oh please; as if you actually care. Anything that doesn’t revolve around you just isn’t important.

"How they all die. She didn't make the Change, and her body just…" Stevie Rae paused, shuddering. "It happened near the end of Tae Kwan Do class. She'd been coughing, like she was short of breath at the beginning of our warm-up exercises. I didn't think anything of it. Or maybe I did, but I put it out of my mind.”

Been taking lessons from Zoey, I see.

Stevie Rae gave me a small, sad smile and she looked ashamed of herself.

"Is there any way to save a kid? After, you know, they start—" I broke off and made a vague, uncomfortable gesture.

"No. There's no way you can be saved if your body starts to reject the Change.”

"Then don't feel bad about not wanting to think about the girl who was coughing. There's nothing you could have done anyway.”

So, by your logic, if there’s nothing you can do to change the outcome of the situation, there’s no reason to have any kind of feelings about it. It’s not your problem, after all!

FUCK. YOU.

What if that girl was her friend? Should she not feel upset about it then, either? “Oh, well, you couldn’t have stopped it, so it doesn’t matter!”

Go take a swim in a vat of sulphuric acid, you utter bitch.

"I know. I just…it was awful. And Elizabeth was so nice.”

I felt a sharp jolt somewhere in the middle of my body. "Elizabeth No Last Name? She's the girl who died?”

Stevie Rae nodded, blinking hard and obviously trying not to cry.

"That's horrible," I said, my voice so weak it was almost a whisper. I remembered how considerate she'd been about my Mark,

Speshul Snowflake: 88

and how she'd noticed Erik looking at me. "But I just saw her in Drama class. She was fine.”

Do you notice anything here? Look closely and think about it; I’ll wait.

*hums Jeopardy theme*

See it? What does Zoey remember about Elizabeth? Yep, that’s right. She only remembers the things that have to do with her. Elizabeth complimented Zoey’s mark. Elizabeth noticed that Erik was looking at Zoey. There’s nothing in there about Elizabeth herself. She’s only brought up in terms of how she acted towards Zoey.

One could make the argument that Zoey didn’t know her long enough to get to know her, so her behavior towards Zoey was all she had to go on, but given how self-centered Zoey is, I’m not willing to give it the benefit of the doubt. This poor girl just died, and it was probably a painful, horrific death, and what is Zoey thinking? “Me, me, me.”

"That's how it happens. One second the kid sitting next to you looks perfectly normal. The next…" Stevie Rae shivered again.

I don’t buy this. That’s not how rejection works. It’s not sudden, like a heart attack or a stroke. It can happen quickly, yes, but it’s not instantaneous.

Let’s look at organ rejection, shall we? Rejection occurs when the body identifies the organ as a foreign and potentially hostile/dangerous object and attacks it. This can happen immediately after the transplant, or it can take years. But even if the immune system attacks the organ as soon as it’s transplanted, it still takes time for it to become fatal, and even then, it doesn’t always kill you!

Most importantly, it doesn’t go from perfectly healthy to fatal between one second and the next. It takes time.

I would be willing to believe that, unlike organ rejection, there is no cure. You could argue that your typical immuno-suppressants wouldn’t work on a vampire, which means there’s no way to stop the body from attacking itself. No way to stop the rejection, no way to save the fledgling. Fine. I’ll buy that. But I don’t buy that it happens so quickly that you’re dead within minutes of showing symptoms.

"And everything's going to go on like normal? Even though someone at the school just died?" I remembered that last year, when a group of sophomores from SIHS had been in a car accident one weekend and two of them had been killed, extra counselors had been called in to school on Monday and all the athletic events had been cancelled for that week.

I know this probably isn’t what PCK intended, but I’m seriously getting the sense that Zoey is upset by the idea that, if she rejected the change and died, that the world wouldn’t stop turning and no one would mourn for her.

"Everything goes on like normal. We're supposed to get used to the idea that it might happen to anyone. You'll see. Everyone will act like nothing happened, especially upperclassmen. It's just third formers and good friends of Elizabeth, like her roommate, who will show any reaction at all. The third formers—that's us

No, really? I swear. I’m starting to think I should have started a count for how often someone says something that makes them sound like a complete idiot. Damien needing a definition for what looking at someone means, that girl in the last chapter standing outside a dirty horse stall, then being handed a wheelbarrow and pitchfork and asking well, what are they supposed to do with those? We already know that Stevie Rae and Zoey are third-formers (what about first and second? Where are they?), so why did she feel the need to reiterate that they are, in fact, third-formers?

Everyone in this universe is a moron. I wonder if vampirism replaces their brains with rocks, because it certainly seems that way.

— are supposed to act right and get over it. Elizabeth's roommate and best friends will probably keep to themselves for a couple days, but then they'll be expected to get it together.” She lowered her voice, "Truthfully, I don't think the vamps think of any of us as real until we actually Change.”

So what is the fledgling mortality rate, anyway? It must be pretty high, if even the kids’ friends aren’t allowed to mourn.

I thought about this. Neferet didn't seem to treat me like I was temporary

Speshul Snowflake: 89

— she'd even said that it was an excellent sign that my Mark was colored in already, not that I was as confident as she seemed to be about my future.

Speshul Snowflake: 90

But I absolutely was not going to say anything that might sound as if Neferet was giving me special treatment.

But she is giving you special treatment.

I didn't want to be "the weird one."

Bullshit. You love the attention, you whore.

I just wanted to be Stevie Rae's friend and fit in with my new group.

More like you want to be worshiped by your new peons.

"That's really awful," was all I said.

Oh, yeah, we can tell you’re really torn up by this.

"Yeah, but at least if it happens, it happens fast.”

Part of me wanted to know the details, and part of me was too scared even to ask the question.

Could you be any more of a chicken? No, scratch that. Chickens are braver than you are.

This would have had more weight if Zoey wasn’t constantly sticking her fingers in her ears and loudly singing “LA LA LA” about anything that’s even vaguely uncomfortable.

Thankfully, Shaunee interrupted before I could make myself ask what I was really too freaked out to want to know.

You wouldn’t have asked, anyway.

"Just please with the taking so long," Shaunee called from the front steps of the temple.

You’re starting to annoy me. How many times are you going to say the “Just please” line? Come up with something else for a change.

"Erin and Damien are already inside saving a place in the circle for us, but you know that once the ritual starts they won't let anyone else in. Hurry up!”

We rushed up the steps, and with Shaunee leading us, hurried into the temple. Sweet, smoky incense engulfed me as I entered the dark arched foyer of Nyx's Temple. Automatically, I hesitated. Stevie Rae and Shaunee turned to me.

Maybe I should have started a count for every time Zoey acts like a coward, too. It sure is happening a lot.

"It's okay. There's nothing to be nervous or scared about." Stevie Rae met my eyes and added, "At least nothing in there.”

This is just wonderful. A girl Stevie Rae liked just died a horrible death right in front of her eyes, but let’s all comfort Zoey, she’s so scared, poor thing.

"The Full Moon Ritual is great. You'll like it. Oh, when the vamp traces the pentagram on your forehead and says 'blessed be' all you have to do is say 'blessed be' back to her," Shaunee explained. "Then follow us over to our place in the circle.” She smiled reassuringly at me and hurried ahead into the dimly lit interior room.

"Wait." I grabbed Stevie Rae's sleeve. "I don't want to sound stupid, but isn't a pentagram a sign of evil or something like that?”

"That's what I thought, too, until I got here. But all that evil stuff is bull that the People of Faith want you to believe so that…Heck," she said with a shrug, "I'm not even sure why they're so set on people—well, humans that is—believing that it's an evil sign. The truth is that for like a zillion years the pentagram has stood for wisdom, protection, perfection.

Uh, no. The pentagram stands for many different things, depending on which culture is using it, but not a single one of them claim it stands for perfection. That part is you talking out of your ass, PCK.

Good stuff like that. It's just a five-pointed star. Four of the points stand for the elements. The fifth, the one that points up, stands for the spirit. That's all it is. No boogieman there.”

"Control.” I muttered, glad we had a reason to quit talking about Elizabeth and death.

You never think about anything that isn’t sunshine and rainbows, do you? Again, I wouldn’t have minded this so much, since thinking about the death of someone you know can be very hard and upsetting, but Zoey is constantly saying “Well, I don’t want to think about that,” when it comes to anything that’s the least bit unsavory.

"Huh?”

"The People of Faith want to control everything, and part of that control is that everyone has to always believe exactly the same. That's why they want people to think the pentagram is bad." I shook my head in disgust. "Never mind. Come on. I'm readier than I thought I was. Let's go in.”

We walked deeper into the foyer and I heard running water. We passed a beautiful fountain, and then the entryway curved gently to the left. Within a thick, arched stone doorway stood a vampyre I didn't recognize. She was dressed entirely in black—a long skirt and a silky, bell-sleeved blouse. The only decoration she had on was the silver embroidered goddess figure over her breast. Her hair was long and the color of wheat. Sapphire-colored spirals radiated from her crescent moon tattoo to down around her flawless face.

Zoey. Your ho-yay is showing again. Am I the only one who finds it hilarious that it’s almost exclusively the women that Zoey is panting over? The funny thing is, I don’t even think PCK meant to do this! Zoey is a lesbian in denial, I swear.

"That's Anastasia. She teaches the Spells and Rituals class. She's also Dragon's wife,” Stevie Rae whispered quickly before she stepped up to the vampyre and respectfully placed her fist over her heart.

Anastasia smiled and dipped her finger in a rock bowl she was holding. Then she traced a five-pointed star on Stevie Rae's forehead.

"Blessed be, Stevie Rae," she said.

"Blessed be,” Stevie Rae responded. She gave me an encouraging look before she disappeared into the smoky room beyond.

I took a deep breath and made a conscious decision to put all thoughts of Elizabeth and death and what-ifs out of my mind— at least during this ritual.

STOP. DOING. THIS.

Every time she decides to stop thinking about something, or decides that she doesn’t want to talk about it, I swear I can feel my blood pressure spike.

This isn’t healthy, guys. These books are actually detrimental to a person’s health.

I moved purposefully into the space in front of Anastasia. Mimicking Stevie Rae, I placed my closed fist over my heart.

The vampyre dipped her finger in what I could now see was oil. "Merry meet, Zoey Redbird, welcome to the House of Night and your new life," she said as she traced the pentagram on my forehead over my Mark. "And blessed be.”

SNOOOOOORE…

Also, is it just me, or does all of this sound incredibly pretentious and dramatic? Why can vampires not speak like normal people?

"Blessed be," I murmured, surprised at the electric shiver that passed through my body when the damp star had taken form on my forehead.

"Go on in and join your friends," she said kindly. "There's no need to be nervous, I believe the Goddess is already looking after you.”

Speshul Snowflake: 91

Because of course she is.

"Th-thank you," I said, and hurried into the room. There were candles everywhere. Huge white ones suspended from the ceiling in iron chandeliers. Big candle trees held more of them and were lined along the walls. In the temple, sconces didn't burn oil tamely in lanterns, like in the rest of the school. Here the sconces were real.

Did…did Zoey just thumb her nose at the design of the school?

You Judgemental Bastards: 76

Maybe I’m reaching, but I don’t think so. Those words have a distinct sneer to them.

I knew that this place used to be a People of Faith church dedicated to St. Augustine, but it looked like no church I'd ever seen before.

Apparently Zoey has never heard of the word ‘remodeling’.

Besides being lit only by candlelight, there were no pews. (And, by the way, I really dislike pews—could they be any more uncomfortable?)

Could you be any more of a whiny bitch?

Actually, the only furniture in the big room was an antique wooden table situated in the center that was kinda like the one in the dining hall—only this one wasn't just loaded with food and wine and such. This one also held a marble statue of the Goddess, arms upraised and looking a lot like the embroidered design the vamps wore.

Gee, I wonder if this statue of Nyx could be the inspiration for the embroidered design the adult vampires wear.

…nah.

There was a huge candelabrum on the table, its fat white candles burning brightly, as well as several thick sticks of smoking incense.

Then my eyes were caught by the open flame burning from out of a recess in the stone floor. It flickered wildly, its yellow fire almost waist high. It was beautiful, in a controlled danger kind of a way, and it seemed to draw me forward. Thankfully, Stevie Rae's waving hands snagged my attention before I could follow my impulse to approach the flame,

Are you trying to tell me that you would have walked right into it? What kind of a moron are you?

*pauses* Wait a minute.

Stevie Rae, why did you do that?! I want to see Zoey immolate herself!

and then I noticed, wondering how I could have failed to see this from the beginning, that there was a huge circle of people—students as well as adult vamps— stretching around the edges of the room.

You missed them because you were pretending to be moth and just about got yourself roasted. I was being snide before when I said that I thought Zoey’s IQ was in the negative digits, but she literally just acted out the ‘like a moth to a flame’ idiom.

Feeling nervous and awestruck at the same time, I made my feet move so I could take my place in the circle beside Stevie Rae.

"Finally,” Damien said under his breath.

Oh, hey, look at that, we’re in agreement again! This is taking forever.

"Sorry we're late.” I said.

"Leave her alone. She's nervous enough as it is," Stevie Rae told him.

Oh, look, it’s Stevie Rae the Attack Dog again.

Speshul Snowflake: 92

LEAVE ~~BRITNEY~~ ZOEY ALONE!

"Sssh! It's starting,” Shaunee hissed.

Four forms seemed to materialize from within the darkened corners of the room to become women who made their way to four spots just within the living circle, like the directions on a compass. Two more entered from the doorway through which I'd just come. One was a tall man—well, scratch that—male vampyre (all of the adults were vamps),

Why did you feel the need to clarify this? Have we seen anyone at this school (apart from Zoey’s grandmother that one time) who wasn’t a vampire? Even without you saying this, I’m pretty sure everyone would have assumed that he was a vampire, too. Forget the characters having negative IQs, I’m starting to think PCK thinks the readers do, too.

and, ohmygod, he was hot. Now, here was an excellent example of the stereotype of the gorgeous vamp guy, up close and personal. He was over six feet tall and looked like he belonged on the big screen.

"And there is the only reason I'm taking that damn Poetry elective," Shaunee whispered.

"I'm with you there, Twin," Erin breathed dreamily.

"Who is he?" I asked Stevie Rae.

He’s Pedobear. No, I am not kidding.

"Loren Blake, Vamp Poet Laureate. He's the first male Poet Laureate in two hundred years. Literally," she whispered. "And he's only like twenty-something, and that's in real years, not just in looks.”

You…you fucking LIAR! This book was published in 2007. Know who the Poet Laureate was in 2007? Charles Simic. That’s a very strange name for a woman…OH WAIT, HE’S A MAN. And so was the Poet Laureate in 2006. And the Poet Laureate in 2005!

In fact, ever since the position was created in America in 1936 (it originated in England in the 18^th century), there have been sixteen males, and only eight females. You want to tell me again how he’s the first male in two hundred years, PCK? THE POSITION DIDN’T EVEN EXIST TWO HUNDRED YEARS AGO, YOU MORON!

You can’t even claim that he’s the first one by England’s standards, because Andrew Motion was the English Poet Laureate when this book was published! In fact, all of the English Poet Laureates were male, except for one, and she was given the title in May of 2009!

DO YOUR FUCKING RESEARCH!

*EXPLODES*

Before I could say anything else, he started to speak and my mouth was too busy flopping open at the sound of his voice for me to do anything but listen.

She walks in beauty, like the night

Of cloudless climes and starry skies…

As he spoke he moved slowly toward the circle. As if his voice was music, the woman who had entered the room with him began to sway, and then to dance gracefully around the outside of the living circle.

And all that's best of dark and bright

Meet in her aspect and her eyes…

The dancing woman had everyone's attention. With a jolt I realized that it was Neferet.

*dusts herself off and sighs*

Well, I guess it was only a matter of time until that happened again. I suppose I should just be happy that it took this long.

Where was I?

Oh, yes.

How are you only just now realizing that it’s Neferet? I’m wondering if there’s some kind of curse on the temple that turns everyone who goes inside into drooling idiots. It would explain why Zoey nearly barbecued herself.

She was wearing a long silk dress that had tiny crystal beads sewn all over it, so that the candlelight caught each of her movements and made her shimmer like the star-filled night sky. Her movements seemed to call alive the words of the old poem (at least my mind was still working well enough that I recognized it as Lord Byron's "She Walks in Beauty").

Here’s the funny thing about Loren (the only funny thing, the creepo…). Despite ~~supposedly~~ being a Poet Laureate, he only ever quotes poems from other people. You suck as a poet, Loren. Just because you steal poetry from better people, that doesn’t mean you are a poet.

Side note, I love that Zoey actually acknowledges that her brain has turned to mush and is probably dripping out of her ears.

Thus mellowed to that tender light Which heaven to gaudy day denies.

Somehow both Neferet and Loren managed to end up in the center of the circle as he finished reciting the stanza. Then Neferet took a goblet from the table and lifted it, as if offering a drink to the circle.

Circle. Circle, circle, circle circle. Is PCK keeping count of how many times they use that word? My guess is no.

"Welcome Nyx's children to the Goddess's celebration of the full moon!”

The adult vamps chorused, "Merry meet.”

Neferet smiled and put the goblet back on the table and picked up a long white taper that was already lit and sitting in a single candlestick holder. Then she walked across the circle to face a vamp I didn't know who was standing at what must be the head of the circle. The vamp saluted her, hand over breast, before turning around so that her back was to Neferet.

"Psst!" Stevie Rae whispered. "We all face each of the four directions as Neferet evokes the elements and casts Nyx's circle. East and air come first.”

CIRCLE. CIRCLE, CIRCLE, CIRCLE.

Then everyone, including me even though I was kinda slow, turned to face east.

Why did you have to add that ‘including me’?

Out of the corner of my eye I could see Neferet raise her arms over her head as her voice rang against the stone walls of the temple.

"From the east I summon air and ask that you carry to this circle the gift of knowledge that our ritual will be filled with learning.”

Given how rock-stupid everyone has been acting for the duration of this book, I think you’re shit out of luck here.

The instant Neferet began speaking the invocation I felt the air change. It moved around me, ruffling my hair and filling my ears with the sound of wind sighing through leaves. I looked around, expecting to see that everyone else had been caught in a mini- whirlwind, but didn't notice anyone else's hair getting messed up. Weird.

Speshul Snowflake: 93

Oh, no…

The vamp who was standing in the east pulled a thick yellow candle from the folds of her dress,

Where the hell were you keeping… No, you know what? Don’t answer that. I don’t want to know.

and Neferet lit it. She lifted it into the air, and then placed it, flickering, at her feet.

"Turn to the right, for fire," Stevie Rae whispered again.

We turned and Neferet continued. "From the south I summon fire and ask that you light in this circle the gift of strength of will, so that our ritual will be binding and powerful.”

Oh my god, I’m bored.

The wind that had been blowing softly against me was replaced by a sensation of heat. It wasn't exactly uncomfortable; it was more like the flush you feel when you step into a hot tub, but it was warm enough to make a light sweat break out over my body. I glanced at Stevie Rae. She had her head raised slightly and her eyes were closed. There was no sign of sweat on her face.

Speshul Snowflake: 94

Oh, no. I’m going to end up exploding again, aren’t I? Shit…

The intensity of the heat suddenly jumped up a notch, and I looked back at Neferet. She had lit a large red candle that Penthesilea was holding. Then, as the east-facing vamp had done, Penthesilea lifted it up in offering before placing it by her feet.

Can we get this over with already? Please? I beg you…

This time I didn't need Stevie Rae's nudging to turn again to my right and face west. Somehow, I knew not just that we needed to turn, but that the next element to be summoned would be water.

Speshul Snowflake: 95

You’re trying to make this sound more impressive than it actually is. You’ve already turned in two directions, and unless this is some weird ritual where you randomly turn a full 180 degrees, rather than ninety degrees, like you just did, it’s not a big shock that, oh, look, you’re turning ninety degrees again! In that same vein, the only two elements left are earth and water, so you have a fifty percent chance to guess the next one correctly.

"From the west I summon water and ask that you wash this circle in compassion, that the light of the full moon can be used to bestow healing to our group as well as understanding.”

Compassion and understanding. *looks at the You Judgemental Bastards count* Yeeeeeah, not likely.

Neferet lit the west-facing vamp's blue candle. The vamp lifted it, and placed it at her feet as the sound of waves filled my ears and the salty scent of the sea filled my nose.

Speshul Snowflake: 96

Eagerly, I completed the circle by facing north and knew I'd be embracing earth.

BECAUSE THAT IS THE ONLY ELEMENT LEFT, YOU DIPSHIT!

"From the north I summon earth and ask that you grow within this circle the gift of manifestation, that the wishes and prayers from tonight will come to fruition.”

Suddenly I could feel the softness of a grassy meadow under my feet, and I smelled hay and heard birdsong.

Speshul Snowflake: 97

A green candle was lit and placed at "earth"'s feet.

I should have probably been afraid of the odd sensations breaking over me, but they filled me with an almost unbearable lightness—I felt good!

Is Zoey tripping balls again? Because this is identical to the chapter where she fell and hit her head, and took her little acid trip. Like that scene, this one just. Keeps. Going, and this one is just as bland and boring as the other.

Normally I can bang out a chapter in a single sitting, but I’ve had to stop no less than three times with this because it’s just so painfully slow.

So good that when Neferet faced the flame that burned in the middle of the room and the rest of us turned to the interior of the circle I had to press my lips tightly together to keep from laughing out loud. The drop-dead gorgeous poet was standing across the fire from Neferet and I could see that he was holding a big purple candle in his hands.

…there’s a sexual innuendo in there somewhere. Don’t even try to tell me there’s not.

"And last, I summon spirit to complete our circle and ask that you fill us with connection, so that as your children we may prosper together.”

Unbelievably, I felt my own spirit leap, like there were bird wings fluttering around inside my chest, as the poet lit the candle from the huge flame and then placed it on the table.

Speshul Snowflake: 98

This count is really starting to bring me physical pain.

Then Neferet began to move around within the circle, speaking to us, meeting our eyes, including us in her words.

"This is the time of the fullness of the moon. All things wax and wane, even Nyx's children, her vampyres. But on this night the powers of life, of magick, and of creation are at their brightest—as is our Goddess's moon. This is the time of building…of doing.”

My heart was beating hard as I watched Neferet speak, and I realized with a little start that she was actually giving a sermon. This was a worship service, but the casting of the circle and Neferet's words coupled to touch me like no other sermon had ever even begun to do.

Now this is a little funny, because I distinctly remember Stevie Rae mentioning that it was really only the gay girls who were into worshiping Nyx, and yet here is the whole damn school, worshiping Nyx. So what’s up with that? Did PCK forget their own canon?

And what about the students who are non-religious? Do you have the option to just not attend, if you don’t want to? It was mentioned that you can’t join after the ritual started, but no mention was made of whether attendance is mandatory. For that matter, what about students who are religious, but choose to worship a deity other than Nyx? Are they allowed to do that? What happens to vampires who don’t worship her? Is there some kind of consequence for them?

I highly doubt we will ever get answers for any of these questions.

I glanced around. Maybe it was the setting. The room was misty with incense and magical in the flickering candlelight. Neferet was everything a High Priestess should be. Her beauty was a flame of its own, and her voice was a magic that held everyone's attention. No one was slumped down in a pew sleeping or sneakily doing sudoku.

Speak for yourself. I don’t do Sudoku, because I am abysmal with all things numbers, but I would be more than willing to give it a shot if it means I don’t have to deal with this chapter anymore. It just refuses to end!

"This is a time when the veil between the mundane world and the strange and beautiful realms of the Goddess become thin indeed. On this night may one transcend the boundaries of the worlds with ease, and know the beauty and enchantment of Nyx.”

I could feel her words wash against my skin and close my throat. I shivered and the Mark on my forehead suddenly felt warm and tingly. Then the poet began to speak in his deep, powerful voice.

I don’t care. Just end it already and put me out of my misery! This is torture!

And he is not a poet. He just steals from people who are.

"This is a time for weaving the ethereal into being, of spinning the strands of space and time to bring forth Creation. For life is a circle as well as a mystery. Our Goddess understands this, as does her consort, Erebus.”

As he spoke I felt better about Elizabeth's death. Suddenly it didn't seem so scary, so horrible. It seemed more like a part of the natural world, a world that we all had a place in.

Okay, this is a little creepy. I don’t believe for a second that Zoey was ever really upset by Elizabeth’s death, but this right here feels like brainwashing. Or some kind of hypnotism, at the very least. Bad enough that the kids aren’t given a chance to mourn when someone dies, even if it’s someone they were very close to, but now it’s like not only are they not given a chance, they’re not given a choice.

"Light…dark…day…night…death…life…all is tied together by spirit and the touch of the Goddess. If we keep the balance and look to the Goddess we can learn to weave a spell of moonlight and fashion with it a fabric of pure magical substance to keep with us all the days of our lives.”

"Close your eyes, Children of Nyx," Neferet said "and send a secret desire to your Goddess. Tonight, when the veil between the worlds is thin—when magic is afoot within the mundane— perhaps Nyx will grant your petitions and dust you with the gossamer mist of dreams fulfilled.”

Okay. My ~~not-so~~ secret desire is FOR THIS GODDAMN SCENE TO END ALREADY!

Magic! They actually were praying for magic! Would it work—could it work? Was there really magic in this world? I remembered the way my spirit had been able to see words and how the Goddess had called me with her visible voice down into the crevasse and then kissed my forehead and changed my life forever.

I still maintain that you were having some kind of acid trip.

Speshul Snowflake: 99

And how, just moments ago, I'd felt the power of Neferet's calling of the elements. I hadn't imagined it—I couldn't have imagined it.

Speshul Snowflake: 100

And there it is, guys. We’re only about halfway through this book, and we just broke into triple digits with Zoey being a speshul snowflake.

I closed my eyes and thought about the magic that seemed to surround me, and then I sent up my wish into the night. My secret wish is that I belong…that I have finally found a home no one can take away from me.

Oh, gag. And I don’t even know where this is coming from. She’s been here for less than two days, and she already has a group of ~~cronies~~ friends. There is absolutely nothing that has happened so far that should make her think she doesn’t belong there. In fact, it’s been quite the opposite, hasn’t it? She gets to be mentored by the High Priestess herself, she has four insta-friends who begin fawning over her as soon as they meet her, she gets invited to join an exclusive group that underclassmen almost never get chosen to be a part of…

Looking at all of that, this little wish of hers rings very hollow, doesn’t it?

Despite the unusual warmth of my Mark, my head felt light and unimaginably happy

Zoey is totally high right now. Don’t even try to convince me otherwise.

as Neferet called for us to open our eyes and, in a voice that was at the same time soft and powerful— woman and warrior combined—she continued the ritual.

How much longer is this going to go on?!

"This is a time of traveling unseen in the full moonlight. A time to listen for music not fashioned by human or vampyre hands. It is a time for oneness with the winds that caress us" — Neferet bowed her head slightly to the east—"and the bolt of lightning that mimics the spark of first life.” She tilted her head to the south.

What? South is fire, not electricity. Those two things are not interchangeable.

"It is a time to revel in the eternal sea and the warm rains that soothe us, as well as the verdant land that surrounds and keeps us." She acknowledged the west and north in turn.

And each time Neferet named an element it felt as though a jolt of sweet electricity sizzled through my body.

Speshul Snowflake: 101

I really wish this was phrased in a way that didn’t sound like Zoey was getting off on it…

Then the four women who personified the elements moved as one to the table.

With Neferet and Loren, each of them lifted a goblet.

"All hail, O Goddess of Night and the full moon!" Neferet said. "All hail Night, from whom our blessings come. On this night we give thanks to thee!”

Still holding the goblets, the four women scattered back to their places in the circle.

"In the mighty name of Nyx," Neferet said.

"And of Erebus," the poet added.

Who is more or less an afterthought. I’m pretty sure Erebus has only been mentioned twice before this. Why even include him in the ritual at all?

"We ask from within your sacred circle that you give us the knowledge to speak the language of the wilds, to fly with the freedom of the bird, to live the power and grace of the feline, and to find an ecstasy and joy in life that would stir the very heights of our being. Blessed be!”

Do you see now why I kept insisting in earlier chapters that this story would make so much more sense if it was about witches, rather than vampires?

…yeah. I still stand by that.

I couldn't stop grinning. I'd never heard stuff like this in church before, and I sure as hell had never felt so energized there, either!

That does it. That oil that got painted on everyone’s foreheads was spiked with something. That’s the only explanation.

Neferet drank from the goblet she held, and then she offered it to Loren, who drank from it and said "blessed be." Mirroring their actions, the four women moved quickly around the circle, allowing each person, fledgling and adult, to drink from a goblet.

Either those are the biggest goblets in existence, or everyone isn’t getting more than just a drop. Even with four of them, there’s no way there should be enough for everyone.

Also, am I the only one who is a little squicked by the idea of having to drink out of the same goblet who knows how many other people just drank from? I don’t care if they’re vampires; germs still exist!

When it was my turn I was happy to see the familiar face of Penthesilea offer me a drink and a blessing. The wine was red and I expected it to be bitter, like the sip of my mom's hidden Cabernet I tried once (and definitely did not like),

…I feel like this is Zoey (or maybe it’s PCK) sliding in another little anti-alcohol comment. “Yes, I had a drink of wine once, BUT I DEFINITELY, TOTALLY DIDN’T LIKE IT, OKAY?!”

but it wasn't. It was sweet and spicy and it made my head feel even lighter.

When everyone had been given a drink, the goblets were returned to the table.

I hope they wash those…

"Tonight I want each of us to spend at least a moment or two alone in the light of the full moon. Let its light refresh you and help you to remember how extraordinary you are…or you are becoming." She smiled at some of the fledglings, including me.

Speshul Snowflake: 102

I actually wouldn’t have minded this. It was a sweet sentiment…and then Zoey had to go and ruin it by pointing out that Neferet was smiling specifically at her when talking about becoming extraordinary. What a fucking whore.

"Bask in your uniqueness. Revel in your strength. We stand separate from the world because of our gifts. Never forget that, because you may be sure the world never will.

Modesty and humility is for losers, I guess.

Now let us close the circle and embrace the night.”

In reverse order, Neferet thanked each element and sent them away as each candle was blown out, and as she did so I felt a little twinge of sadness, like I was saying good-bye to friends.

Speshul Snowflake: 103

You just never stop, do you?

Then she completed the ritual by saying, "This rite is ended. Merry meet and merry part and merry meet again!”

The crowd echoed: "Merry meet and merry part and merry meet again!” And that was it. My first ritual of the Goddess was over.

Jesus, this is obnoxious…

The circle broke up quickly—more quickly than I would have liked it to. I wanted to stand there and think about the amazing things I had felt, especially during the calling of the elements, but that was impossible.

Speshul Snowflake: 104

I was carried out of the temple on a tide of chatter. I was glad that everyone was so busy talking that no one noticed how quiet I was; I didn't think I could explain to them what had just happened to me.

Bold of you to assume that anyone would care. ~~Except that I know everyone will, because of course they will. Zoey is the center of the universe, after all.~~

Hell! I couldn't even explain it to myself.

I can. You’re a Mary Sue.

"Hey, you think they'll have Chinese food again tonight? I just loved it last full moon when they had that yummy moo goo stuff afterward," Shaunee said. "Not to mention, my fortune cookie said 'You will make a name for yourself,' which is way cool.”

You do realize that fortune cookies are mass-produced, and don’t actually predict the future, right?

"I'm so starved I don't care what they feed us as long as they feed us," Erin said.

"Me too," Stevie Rae said.

"For once we are in perfect agreement," Damien said, linking arms with Stevie Rae and me. "Let's eat.”

Would you stop doing that? We’re already done the Wizard of Oz thing.

And suddenly, that reminded me. "Uh, guys." That nice tingly feeling the ritual had given me was gone. "I can't go. I have to—"

"We're morons." Stevie Rae thumped herself on the forehead hard enough to make a smacking sound.

I wouldn’t do that. Your already shrunken brain is likely to come popping right out of your mouth.

"We totally forgot."

"Ah, crap!" Shaunee said.

"The hags from hell," Erin said.

If anyone is a hag from hell, it’s the two of you.

"Want me to save you a plate of something?" Damien asked sweetly.

"No. Aphrodite said they're going to feed me.”

"Probably raw meat," Shaunee said.

"Yeah, from some poor kid she caught in her nasty spider web," Erin said.

"By that she means the one between her legs," Shaunee explained.

Uh. Okay…

"Stop, you're freaking Zoey out," Stevie Rae said as she started nudging me toward the door.

LEAVE ~~BRITNEY~~ ZOEY ALONE!

Yes, I used that joke already, but I don’t care. That is seriously what Stevie Rae reminds me of.

"I'll show her where the rec hall is, then I'll meet you guys at our table.”

Outside I said, "Okay, tell me that they're kidding about the raw meat.”

"They're kidding?" Stevie Rae said unconvincingly.

How much of a moron are you? And I direct that question at both Zoey and Stevie Rae! It’s obvious they were making a dig at Aphrodite, and you’re just stupid enough that you took it literally.

"Great. I don't even like my steak rare. What am I going to do if they really do try to feed me raw meat?" I refused to think about what kind of raw meat it might be.

"I think I have a Tums somewhere in my purse. Do you want it?" Stevie Rae asked.

"Yeah," I said, already feeling nauseous.

To answer my own question from a few pages ago, twenty-seven. PCK used the word ‘circle’ twenty-seven times in one fucking scene.

Jesus.

Fucking.

Christ.

BUT WE’RE FINALLY DONE! FINALLY, FINALLY, FINALLY! I’M OUT OF HERE, BITCHES!

Speshul Snowflake: 104
Name Drop: 56
You Judgemental Bastards: 76